FRIENDS

 

When I started this blog my goal was, and still is to  help bridge the gap of understanding between the world of the blind and the sighted. The best way to do this most times is with humor. Even so now and then there comes a little bump in the road that just doesn’t seem funny. Just now I am standing in the middle of that little bump “looking” for balance. Sometimes it becomes too easy for someone like me to assume that a friend just plain LOVES being with me, strolling the streets in the city and roaming the malls until absolutely everything on a to/do list is finished. Such complacency to the reality is always a shock when I find out I can truly run someone ragged and make them totally crazy. So what does one do when a friend says “I can’t go out tomorrow?”  First of all, you totally get the fact that you are not the center of this person’s universe and that they have other more pressing obligations pending. You truly understand as you kick yourself in the bottom with your foot … if you can still do that. But then the person says: “but I will still do anything you need done if I can just do it for you.” That’s the bump I’m tripping over. Suddenly I realize how much more quickly a person can get things done without a blind person and a dog slowing them down. Today I have decided to try one more time to make new rules to make it easier for my friends as well as myself.

My new rules:

~Do not ask a person to go shopping, to lunch, to the post office, to stop by the church, to the bank, the drug store, the vet, and the grocery store all in one day. … and then read my mail.

 ~Learn to pay my bills on-line instead of having someone helping me with checks.

Remember to label hand creams, face creams, shampoos, conditioners, cleaning products, and medications so as not to keep asking someone to read the labels over and over.     

Now, some of the amazing things my friends do:

~Take me shopping, to lunch, to the post office, the church, the drug store, the bank, the vet, and the grocery store.

~Read mail and help write checks.

~Drive a hundred miles to visit with my Mom and sometimes one hundred and fifty miles to see my friend in Charlotte.

~Call me and try to persuade me to do lunch; doesn’t take much persuasion.

~Call and ask me to a movie.

~Call and invite Vivi over for a play date with their dog.

~Invite Vivi and me to go for a walk,

~Invite me to spend a weekend,

~ Save plastic bags for me so I can look after Vivi’s doggy needs.

~Ask if they can pick me up for a party.

~Bring me tomatoes from the Farmer’s market or their gardens without being asked,

~Help me with a web site that is not user friendly, if they can,

Go driving in the rain to another grocer just because I didn’t like the cheese in WallMart,

~Give me a hug when I don’t deserve one,

And just recently, rush from the train station to my house in five o’clock Raleigh traffic to retrieve my dog’s harness and get back to the station before the train leaves.

 

Most of all, these are not people who feel sorry for me; they are truly my friends. So, I hope for all you readers, blind and sighted, that you: 

~Have people like these special ones in your life,

That you don’t become sensitive when they just don’t have time,

~That you don’t take them for granted nor overuse their generosity,

~That when you think you have nothing to give in return you give them appreciation, understanding, a listening ear, spiritual support,

~That you thank God for them,

~And you tell them often they are loved, and mean it.

 

Did somebody say something about a bump?

 

 

FRIENDS

 

When I started this blog my goal was, and still is to  help bridge the gap of understanding between the world of the blind and the sighted. The best way to do this most times is with humor. Even so now and then there comes a little bump in the road that just doesn’t seem funny. Just now I am standing in the middle of that little bump “looking” for balance. Sometimes it becomes too easy for someone like me to assume that a friend just plain LOVES being with me, strolling the streets in the city and roaming the malls until absolutely everything on a to/do list is finished. Such complacency to the reality is always a shock when I find out I can truly run someone ragged and make them totally crazy. So what does one do when a friend says “I can’t go out tomorrow?”  First of all, you totally get the fact that you are not the center of this person’s universe and that they have other more pressing obligations pending. You truly understand as you kick yourself in the bottom with your foot … if you can still do that. But then the person says: “but I will still do anything you need done if I can just do it for you.” That’s the bump I’m tripping over. Suddenly I realize how much more quickly a person can get things done without a blind person and a dog slowing them down. Today I have decided to try one more time to make new rules to make it easier for my friends as well as myself.

My new rules:

~Do not ask a person to go shopping, to lunch, to the post office, to stop by the church, to the bank, the drug store, the vet, and the grocery store all in one day. … and then read my mail.

 ~Learn to pay my bills on-line instead of having someone helping me with checks.

Remember to label hand creams, face creams, shampoos, conditioners, cleaning products, and medications so as not to keep asking someone to read the labels over and over.     

Now, some of the amazing things my friends do:

~Take me shopping, to lunch, to the post office, the church, the drug store, the bank, the vet, and the grocery store.

~Read mail and help write checks.

~Drive a hundred miles to visit with my Mom and sometimes one hundred and fifty miles to see my friend in Charlotte.

~Call me and try to persuade me to do lunch; doesn’t take much persuasion.

~Call and ask me to a movie.

~Call and invite Vivi over for a play date with their dog.

~Invite Vivi and me to go for a walk,

~Invite me to spend a weekend,

~ Save plastic bags for me so I can look after Vivi’s doggy needs.

~Ask if they can pick me up for a party.

~Bring me tomatoes from the Farmer’s market or their gardens without being asked,

~Help me with a web site that is not user friendly, if they can,

Go driving in the rain to another grocer just because I didn’t like the cheese in WallMart,

~Give me a hug when I don’t deserve one,

And just recently, rush from the train station to my house in five o’clock Raleigh traffic to retrieve my dog’s harness and get back to the station before the train leaves.

 

Most of all, these are not people who feel sorry for me; they are truly my friends. So, I hope for all you readers, blind and sighted, that you: 

~Have people like these special ones in your life,

That you don’t become sensitive when they just don’t have time,

~That you don’t take them for granted nor overuse their generosity,

~That when you think you have nothing to give in return you give them appreciation, understanding, a listening ear, spiritual support,

~That you thank God for them,

~And you tell them often they are loved, and mean it.

 

Did somebody say something about a bump?

 

 

SCIENCE FICTION BIRTHDAY DREAM

I decided to wait a day before posting this blog so as not to confuse readers with my real birthday July 11. This was my dream on the night of July 10.

 

My birthday had just passed. A friend (don’t know who) and I were down town Raleigh years ago, new friend, old Raleigh. We went up the elevator in Hudson Belk for a sale but the only things for sale were Christmas items in July. I wanted to buy them and figured only my daughter would not be surprised to see Christmas trees on my mantle in August, but she would be surprised when they were red, white and blue. I told them to deliver the trees and when I got off the elevator found myself eating dinner with a guy I never knew and still don’t. We had the best talk but I apologized to him for my talking too much about the wedding that only happened two months ago. Then I noticed his hair was dark and thick and his eyes were dark too. People are surprised when I tell them I can see in my dreams, not perfectly, but with the vision I had when I could see best. Anyway, this guy was PERFECT! That should have clued me in that it was a dream. Instead I worried terribly because he didn’t seem to realize I am seventy-two. He asked me to have dinner the next night and I was screaming at him as I got pushed out of the dining area that he didn’t know my name. My friend bounced back in the dream. “I met a guy,” I told her. “I know you did but you are seventy-two,” she said as she pushed me into a door for a Bible study. People were DOING crafts and talking about other people. “This isn’t fun,” I said as I suddenly could not see well anymore and begin fumbling around the room for the elevator. The room became the elevator and suddenly threw me out onto the street. “Run!” my friend Margaret yelled at me. “You are late for work!” Give me a ride,” I begged as I climbed into her trunk. My computer was in there. The trunk turned into the attic where I once typed before my son was ever born and there were other women typing in there. “You are fired!” my boss told me. “You can’t fire me I am seventy-two and I don’t work for you anymore.” Then Margaret was leaving to go back home to New Mexico. “You can’t leave,” I said, “you never even got out of your car.”

ALARM!

I almost NEVER remember dreams, so I decided to write this one quickly before I forget. A guy? That is the last thing on my mind, honest! So now the truth is known; my overactive imagination when I am awake is even more active when I’m asleep. Maybe one day I will remember some of the beautiful songs I often hear while sleeping. Goodness, I hope you don’t try to interpret this dream for me; I honestly think it means I am seventy-two.