HOW TO LEARN TOLERANCE

 

You sit through a movie you happened to find as you are turning the TV. It’s a great movie. Wonder what the name of it is.

You sit through previews for the next movies they are going to show but you know you may not be able to find them since you don’t know what channel it is either.  

I guess the bottom line is that most people would just think if you can’t see the TV who would need one.

 

Your MD calls to say  he called in a prescription your child should start taking right away; you forgot to buy flour for the dinner recipe you were fixing for tonight; the dog or cat needs to get to the vet; you find out you forgot to pay the bill that is due tomorrow.

You can do none of those things because you can only schedule a cab for the day BEFORE you need it.

You call and schedule whatever you need for tomorrow.

The cab or van picks you up but you must get out of the vehicle and go inside. Once your errand is taken care of, you must go outside and wait for another vehicle to come pick you up, even if the errand took less than five minutes.

Heaven forbid you want to get to two places in one day.

 

Someone comes in to set up your modem for high-speed internet. You offer to turn off your screen reader so it doesn’t interfere with what he needs to do. He says he can take care of it. He leaves and you find out that instead of turning off your computer screen reader he muted the entire computer sound. Of course you have no way to turn it back on. You call him back to take care of it but the internet provider says you’ll have to set up another service call.

 

It’s a rainy day and your dog chooses to use the carpet as his potty place … but … where ?

There’s a bee in your house … but where?

There’s a hole hidden by the grass, oops   … right there!

 

You have a great friend who is committed to taking you to the grocery store every week. I hope everyone has a friend or family like that. Anyway, you get in the car, in the store and pull out the list for her that you have printed up. You didn’t know you were out of ink.

 

You can see a large TV picture, but nothing as small as the lighted numbers or colors on a cable box.  You try to call your service for help only to get someone who will not help you because you can’t see the lighted numbers or colors on a cable box.   

 

He’s the foreman for a tree servicing company and immediately gives his crew instructions on where to begin as he walks up to the door of the house. Just as he starts to put his hand  over the doorbell button a door opens, a lady seems to peer out at him, then immediately closes the door in his face. Why? He wonders.

Inside the house a blind lady hears saws outside. Her neighbors had a tree fall in their house the other day so she goes to the door to try to figure out if the saws are in her yard or in her neighbor’s yard. She slightly opens the door and hears the saws just outside so she closes the door, not realizing a man was standing there.

What happened? He rang the bell, she apologized, and later told me this story.

 

You are young, have some sight but not enough to read the church hymnal. You stand there holding the book, then the pew member standing beside you has no hymnal so she leans over to read along with you. She takes the book from your hands, turns it right side up and gives it back.

 

There are a few answers to some of these little imperfections. First of all, there is now an app that goes with my TV internet service which I am able to use to navigate channels etc.

I have learned to try to remember things I might need tomorrow, mostly making notes so I won’t forget. Should an unexpected emergency pop up I thank God for my family and friends, though I try very hard not to take advantage of their good natures. One never knows when a real crisis could occur so never overuse those who are available to call, and realize things could be worse; you could live somewhere where there’s no transportation provided at all.

Some things just happen and they surely must happen to teach blind people how to sort out what is really a crisis and what is just something to smile about later.

Church hymnals? That’s a pride thing; you’ll grow out of it, or, maybe you’ll go to a church that uses overheads and sings songs with so much repetition everybody will think how cool it is that you know the words.

There are so many things to be thankful for I try to never waste my time thinking of things that aren’t. Today is a sad day for America as we realize violence lives in the hearts of many. Sometimes I feel frightened walking with my dog, very vulnerable in an open space alone. All I know to do about that is pray for God’s protection and remember the words “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me.”  

 And today I wrote this little note hoping to get at least one more person besides myself to smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

THINGS THAT GO BOOM IN THE DAY

 

I was sitting in front of the TV. Suddenly I heard a very loud boom from inside my house. It sounded like the glass on my front door had splintered in some places and something was falling from the ceiling. The only thought that crossed my mind was a gunshot. The second thing that crossed my mind was that since there were roofing people working on the town homes that some equipment had blown up. I was afraid to move but ran with Vivi into the bedroom so I could get out the back door if I needed to. I immediately hit the button and told Siri to call 911. Suddenly I felt very vulnerable, very afraid, and very blind. I was telling the lady the proper information and had calmed down just a little … and.  Then I realized I also smelled something. It smelled a little like a rotten egg. Realization hit me as I opened the bedroom door, walked to the kitchen because I remembered I had forgotten all about putting two eggs on to boil for the chicken salad I was going to make for dinner. “OH please please please don’t send anybody! My neighbors already expect me to be weird!” I begged the 911 operator, as I started to explain the situation. She started laughing. Talk about having egg on your face. Thank goodness I only put two eggs in that pot. I found most of one of the eggs on the stove, black shell and all. I couldn’t find the other one so I did what I always do when I’m in a pinch, called Christi. We found the other egg … on the pop corn type ceiling, on the light fixture, the refrigerator, stove, trash can, cabinets, tops of picture frames, anything and everything that was in the kitchen and then some. That egg really did blow up into a million pieces, like large grains of salt only water did not make it melt one bit. Probably I will continue to find egg grains in hidden places we missed, but then, I guess that’s one way to get help to get my kitchen cleaned.

Now, in case any of you just are waiting on the edge of your seat wondering if I ever made the chicken salad? No. I put that chicken back in the fridge and ate cereal for dinner.

I realize that twenty years ago I’d have probably done something else stupid when I heard the big bang like walk out my front door to see if anyone was outside, or gone into my kitchen and felt around to see if something like the sky had fallen.

Now, surely I must tell you what I was watching on TV that I was concentrating on so much that I forgot about the eggs? “Dr. Phil!”  Yes, Dr. Phil had the lady on who had poured Drain-O in her eyes so she could become blind. I truly pray she gets the help she needs to find the truth.

Today however it concerns me just a little as I wonder if the S in Seventy means senile; then I have to laugh as I think a closer fit would be Silly. Nothing on TV is worth all that.

 

MUST BE AUTUMN

 

Must be autumn!

They play the World Series more often than they used to,

And the store on the corner is farther away now.

 

Save our environment! Save our planet!  Save our souls

As the axis turns the tilted world around once more, spinning the old people until they become dizzy,

Stepping in the footprints they made as babies.

But their memories are as gold as the leaves on the trees.

Is it the Sourwood tree or the Sugar Maple that crowns their seasons?

 

Must be autumn!

Back to school, coats and sweaters.

Is it pecans or pe cons?

The squirrel doesn’t care.

Run deer run!  Roll through the leaves and smell the wood fires!

Run deer run! Ageless as the tears and smiles.

Fly turkeys fly As we set out the pumpkins and bring in the plants.

Geese headed south like a choreographed dance.

 

Must be Autumn!

Play children play while the news is just something that interrupts the music.

While you trust in miracles, the old woman in a shoe.

And smiley faces on gingerbread people.

Who believe the recipe is forever new.

Let’s all go down to the store and buy ourselves a baseball.

Hit it out of sight!  … and Harvest it someday from a river on the moon.

 

A FEW DAYS

Sunday evening

If sounds came with this blog you would hear one dog squeaking a Kong football, one chasing a Kong squeaking tire, and the other one breathing so hard trying to keep up with the other two. My little 1040 square feet bungalow is filled with two working guide dogs and one retired guide dog. They are exceptionally good dogs, but I closed off half the house so they are living in 520 square feet. My former husband is having a hip replacement and this seems to be his dogs’ home away from home.

Monday

This morning at 3 AM Chloe began shaking herself. She has on so many clanging tags she could work for the Salvation Army at Christmas. I drug myself off the couch and went out into the very early morning dampness with her. It is always a surprise to experience the coolness of a fall morning, hearing leaves being blown from the limbs and knowing they are beautiful even in the darkness. Of course Chloe and I came back in and she settled right back into a peaceful sleep while I began running this day through my mind.

I decided to get up before dawn while everyone was asleep and take my shower. Not wanting to alarm the fur babies, I decided to use the shower in the hall bathroom so they could find me if they panicked. Now, I do not know if I washed my body with shampoo or my hair with body wash, but one of them smelled like toothpaste.  

It’s time to take the dogs out before breakfast. These dogs are trained to empty their tummies and bladders on command so it’s easy to clean up after them. This works well for two of the dogs, my Vivi and Jim’s Chloe, both labs. Autumn who is a Goldendor and is retired seems to have retired from that command as well. Sunday night she started to play with a stick … that moved. It was determined to be a Copperhead. The young snake skidded off in a rush and may be living now in the workings of whatever is underneath someone’s car.

Finally, with Dogs all taken out, fed, watered, beds moved out of the middle of the floor, bowls washed, taken for individual walks (three walks for me), long play time, it’s time for a treat. Chloe missed the treat and got my finger. I forgot all about the beautiful experience we had in the middle of the night and yelled at her. She isn’t speaking to me yet.

Tuesday

I decide to walk the dogs with my hair still wet since rain doesn’t matter anyway. It seems as though it rains every Tuesday because it’s the day I get to go outside in the mud and bring the trash cans and the recycle bin around to the front for emptying. With my shoes caked with mud and my hair rinsed well in rain water I bring Chloe out for a short walk and return her and take Autumn for a shorter walk. back inside I realize I have left my own Vivi shut up in the bedroom for over forty-five minutes.

After a repeat of Monday morning’s routine I light a cinnamon scented candle and take pictures of the beautiful three girl dogs. They don’t want to cooperate so I go outside and take it through the front door.

My tasks for today besides the next walking, playing and treats include taking out burners and scrubbing them, vacuuming the house, emptying the dishwasher, washing a load of clothes, and trying not to forget to water the plants. Dogs are playing, things are going well and suddenly Dene, Jim’s wife, comes in. We pack up the dogs, beds, food, bowls, leashes and toys and load up the car. Although I am glad Jim’s hip replacement has gone well, I realize I enjoyed the camaraderie of the canines.

…

I open up the bedrooms and remember to water the plants. The burners can wait for tomorrow. Doctor Oz is talking about sprouted guiltless bread and how this lady loves it and was able to put down her carbs. I make a face and keep on scrubbing stove parts, but I quit and run into the living room when he says he is going to show people how to sharpen their brain in older age. Of course, you take this little test every day and it’s all done by sight. I turn off the TV. 

The house is quiet.  No jangle tags, no squeaking toys, no pretend growling, no biting fingers. I fix myself a Cappuccino and sit down to rest with a good book. I’m almost falling asleep when Vivi comes over and pushes the toy in my lap. Time for a game of football.

  

CLEANING IT UP

 

Sometimes I find myself looking for a new subject for my blog but inevitably one will drop in my lap and make me wonder why I didn’t talk about it already. I want to thank my sister-in-law, Linda, for helping me out and hope she knows she really did. One day she called and asked “What are you doing?”  “Cleaning up,” I said. “How?” she asked. So I realized that even those who have known us blind folks forever sometimes have to stop and wonder things.

When I attended the Governor Morehead School in the 1950’s, we had maids to clean our rooms and bathrooms. It is a little amazing that we were really not taught some things. However, when I attended the Rehabilitation Center for the Blind in the 1960’s. While thinking I was there to merely wait for a place in a class to open up at Duke Medical Center where I would begin my career path, I found myself being put in a class called demands of daily living, and another one called laundry. These classes were taught by totally blind people. Laundry? I thought. I’ve been doing my own laundry since being twelve years old. It was the ironing that opened my eyes (so to speak). At that time creases in pants were a MUST. It never occurred to me that if you line up those in-seams the creases perfectly line up, front and back, and last at least until somebody sits down? And then there were those shirt sleeves that always must be rolled up to be in style. Rolling them up and ironing them that way really helped them not start falling down just about the time a young man knocked on the door of his girlfriend’s house. That’s when young men really did do that. Cleaning bathrooms! No fun for any person, perhaps more not fun for a blind person. Yet we were given instructions on brushes, cleansers, scrubbing, mopping, making sure things like the tops of tiles around a shower or rims around the top of a tub  were always dried off or either wiped off when cleaning. We learned to touch most surfaces because it might look clean, but it needed to FEEL clean as well. We had been making hospital tucks in our sheets for like ever, yet learned to fold the corner of that bottom sheet backwards over one hand so it would slip right over that corner easier, most of the time anyway. We learned to put our hand inside a plastic bag, lay it over a pile of anything such as spilled ravioli in one spot or pick up the mess a dog makes from the carpet or outdoors. We learned to be careful if we took the broom to knock down spider webs not to knocked down a picture instead. Those are just a few things we hopefully learned; here are more things I found out once I became married and had children.

Sweeping works better for me barefooted.       

I never could get those hard water stains out of the tub because I had no idea there was such a thing. I think they have cleaners that work better these days, but I have a fiberglass tub which is easier to clean, although I’d surely like to have one of those fancy showers you see advertised on TV for older people.

I cannot get soot off the walls, well, maybe I could if I realized it was there.

Sometimes there might be a stain on the cabinet top that is totally unfeelable. I just wait for somebody to let me know I missed it.

Then there’s this air return vent up so high over my hallway door that it fills up with lent. Finally, after my X husband’s new wife informed me how bad it looked, I bought a long handled mop to reach it. Is there a way to show a tongue sticking out on the computer?

Once I began keeping my grandchildren for my own children to work, I also worked at home, so I hired a cleaning lady, truly a joy in my life! Sometimes she thought there was a problem I didn’t see because I was blind, however, there were times I certainly knew it was there, just waited for her to deal with it. I must admit how great it was to know I didn’t have to be embarrassed for people to see anything amiss and think “poor thing didn’t see it.”

  Streaking windows and doors plagues me to this day! Why can’t somebody invent glass that just won’t streak? I now have a new cleaner guaranteed not to streak; I’ll let you know as soon as somebody tells me I streaked my front storm door.

Now, last week when I was in Lexington I took everything off Mom’s bottom shelves on every table in her living room and dusted it thoroughly. I told her there were Bibles and papers that would take somebody ten years to sort out when she moves to heaven some day. I put everything back, except this one picture of my brother and sister-in-law, which I put back upside down. I didn’t do it on purpose, Linda, honest.

  

SPECIAL GOD MOMENTS THIS WEEK

A FEW SPECIAL GOD MOMENTS FROM the week

 

Saturday, August 22,

Christi and I sat on my patio during a stressful time. The music of a cicada choir seemed to sing  from God to both our hearts as we stayed there experiencing His peace.

The two dogs I had been dog sitting for four days went home.

 

Sunday, August 23

Coffee on my patio on a cool morning as the street in back of me that usually plays traffic noise is still asleep.

Hearing my soon to be ninety-five-year-old mom answer her phone after she was not sure where her bed was last night.

Walking with Vivi through a peaceful neighborhood at twilight to a cricket lullaby.

 

Monday, August 24

Seeing a special friend I had not seen in twenty-five years!

Vivi and I visiting three classes and once more identifying with the energy, excitement, and fun that only nine-year-old’s can know.

 

Tuesday, August 25

Being invited by some new friends to dinner and being treated as though I were someone special.

Playing music with them and feeling their bond of marriage wrap the music we played with love.

 

Wednesday, August 26

Praying that Vivi wouldn’t freak out at the vet like she usually does, then watching her wag her tail as though it were a picnic.

Actually being able to hear and understand the person building my Subway sandwich without standing in line looking confused, wondering who they were speaking to.

Pay day!

 

Thursday, August 27.

The Dept. of Revenue called and said I owed them over five hundred dollars from my 2014 taxes. Since I had trouble with the people who filled out my 2013, taxes I shrank inside feeling like the bug I smushed with my front door last week. After calls to the bank, records faxed, etc. and a prayer of desperation, I called and some intelligent being answered, recognized that the company put the wrong SSN on the tax forms and fixed it instantly!

Watching Kevin understand paperwork that makes me crazy.

Watching Vivi and her best doggy friend, Stella Mae, enjoying life, not knowing anything about so much meanness going on in the world.

 

Friday, August 28,

Praying “Help!” as I stepped on the scales; losing the pound I gained last week.

Sitting outside singing to the birds, neighbors, and mostly Jesus, knowing He hears.

 

Even though this is not designed to be my pulpit, there are times I must speak of Jesus; not the Jesus who was just a profit, not the New Age Jesus who changes with and like the political climate, but the bible Jesus who speaks of loving your neighbor, and full of grace and truth, who is LOVE, peace on earth good will to men, never meaning for it to be only at Christmas.

 

 

BLIND LADY AND THE BUG

 

 

You are enjoying a peaceful Saturday evening rest after an exceptionally busy week when you hear something bouncing around on your front door like the glass is a trampoline. You can’t see it, but the more it bounces around the bigger it gets in your mind. What to do? Alert the dog? … She doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe it’s on the outside wanting in, but you’re more afraid it’s on the inside wanting out. You think about calling your next-door neighbor but cringe when you remember calling him before because you heard imaginary water running outside like a pipe had burst, or the time you woke him up because there was a wood-be robber on your patio. You tiptoe to the storm door like the thing is going to jump in your face. Nothing happens, so you grit your teeth and open the storm door. The thing really starts jumping around in triple time, so you think whatever it is has left the premises. You breathe a relieved sigh, sit back down just in time to hear more bumping around on the glass. You get up again and swing the door open and shake it like it’s a lint-filled area rug. Got-chu!” Peace at last … you thought. What to do? More dancing bug; more shaking! You can’t breathe! You know you feel that bug chasing you! In a hissy-fit you shut the heavy front door, sorry you had to resort to violence for the critter.  Now you sit with no peace at all, imagining you hear a trapped insect between the doors. You realize you are trapped too, or at least may have to use the back door for the rest of your life.

…

Bugs, bees, whatever, anything that creeps, crawls, buzzes, whirs, swishes, jumps in the grass, sings a song just before it bites, are a few of my not favorite things. Now I look on facebook but every picture I can’t quite make out appears to be a bug. Once I posted a true experience on facebook which said  “The bee and I both wanted the same drink. He drowned and my nose hurts.” 

 

 

 

 

POETRY CORNER

From the children’s section of my poetry corner

 

CRICKETS

 

 

There’s a cricket in the hall!

Do you hear the sound?

Is he here?  Is he there?

Is he hopping around?

 

Which door should I open to get him out on the porch?

The front door, the back door?

The hall door of course.

 

There’s a cricket in the yard.

Listen how he begs

His friends to come over

With staccato cricket legs.

 

Now I’m going inside to sleep in my bed,

But I still hear the cricket; is he inside my head?

Somebody help!  I hear Mama call.

Doesn’t anybody hear?

There’s a cricket in the hall!

 

 

BEFORE TOMORROW

 

My first grandchild was three.

 

 

Before tomorrow all the dishes will be done,

The clothes put away,

And the counter tops cleared.

 

Before tomorrow the beds will be made,

The floor will be vacuumed,

And all the toys put in their places.

 

The doll weighs ten pounds soaking wet.

Her blue dress flops around her.

 

A few yarns of hair stick out the top of her head that once were tied with a bow.

 

I pick her up by one foot and drop her onto the porch.

Her head lands with a thud that causes me to wince.

Her eyes are fixed and blue and stare up at me.

I look down into them and see your child/play.

Her face is muddy and her lips form a permanent kiss …

Probably placed there by you.

I pick her up and squeeze water from her cloth body.

My fingerprints remain and I call her hopeless.

I put her in a plastic bag with the other garbage and bury her in a can coffin.

 

I go about my day’s work.

I take my shower, brush my teeth,

So I’ll be ready … before tomorrow.

 

I put on music to sanctify the day and hear:

“The Lord is in his holy temple.”

On his altar I see a soggy worn doll with a hug still shaped around her.

 

One day you looked at me with those little-girl eyes and said:

“I want to grow up and be like you.”

 

Oh no, don’t do that, my little child-mom.

Don’t pour your heart into words that no one understands.

 

IN the pouring rain I make my way out back.

I reach down past the egg shells, the left-over pizza, the empty carton and the dirty diapers.

I find her hand and pull her out through the muck of yesterday.

 

With pre-wash sprayed all over her, I toss her in the machine.

She comes out clean, then dried except for the water … that’s still inside her head.

 

I position her carefully on the counter top and know

The water will have dripped out … before tomorrow.

 

Like notions in a little girl’s mind.

 

Beach

I hope everyone gets the chance I had this week, to be invited by friends to the beach! Not only did a dear friend give me a ride all the way down there, but I stayed with friends at no cost to me, who provided a ride home. On reflecting about the week, I find myself wondering which thing was the most fun. To me it was spending time with old friends and getting to know them better, along with making some new ones. However, I must share a few highlights.

I try to never turn down an opportunity to sing if one just happens to jump out there. So singing karaoke at the Yacht Club was a fun surprise and listening to some wonderful voices of my friends and others while sitting near the water was fun. From what I was given to understand later, there happened to be some very interesting folks around. My friend’s dog can actually sing better than some of the crazy folks who began coming in and things got a little crazy right before we left.

A HUGE highlight was watching Vivi take to the ocean like a fish. It made me happy to let her go walking and swimming with the young girls in the group. You might think she was tired and slept all night long, but she and her friend dog, named Wilson, were up at 6 AM ready for the next fun thing.

Shopping is always on the list of things to do, especially when there is someone to read prices and explain the beauty of things I, and my blind friend Laverne, touched. I now have things for four Christmas stockings.

Oh yes, and then there were crab legs, eww! My friends were kind enough not to make fun of me for eating just one, and I know that makes me a little strange. Sorry. Not long ago a friend and I got caught in a hail storm. She is sixty-eight years old and that was the first time she had seen hail. So, now I must say, at my age, this is the first time I have ever experienced crab legs. Just as my friend marveled at the hailstorm, I am thankful to understand something new. Maybe I’ll even eat two next time.

Of course I insisted on there being rocking chairs and a porch before ever accepting the invitation. Laverne and I rocked the time away and caught up on more lost times through the years. She insisted on reading a devotion to me in Braille every morning and if I missed it, again at night. I especially love that part!

And the tandem bike? Just know that after I had surgery as a child my favorite mode of transportation was a bike. I rode a bike even after my children were born until one day I rode straight into a board sticking out the back of a parked truck. Ouch and beyond! It had been at least twenty years, probably even more since being on a bike; but going through the streets at a nice pace and feeling the wind like that just wet my appetite.

Why do I just ramble on and on when everyone has been to the beach many times? It is my goal to bring the worlds of the blind and sighted into one world, or at least one place of understanding in a better way, and to let everyone know we just all are people doing the things we love. I am truly blessed to have such good friends to write about, a family to do things with, as well and most of all, a God who understands best of all.

SEA FOAM

What can you get from the ocean?

The mud is grimy; the fish are slimy.

The ground you stand on washes away

And the sun burns your skin instead of the day.

The wind is a bat and the clouds are its ball;

The smell of the salt wets the seagull’s call.

What can you get from the ocean?

It’s voice is strong, yet soft as a spirit;

Trying to talk to the hearts that can hear it.

It rises and falls like the mood of a soul—

Waits for permission—its tides to roll.

It washes your feet—then off it goes;

Takes the sand from between your toes

Out to the breakers and lays it down

Giving the starfish another crown.

It makes a bed where the ships can sleep

And coughs up food from its cupboard deep.

It tumbles into restless hours

Showing off majestic powers.

As its white foam crests turn into blue

Humanity sees an angel’s view.

It still keeps its secrets while it tosses and roars.

And leaves a playground of joy on its shores.

TRIP TO THE IRS

Once I wrote a poem in which I said: “the devil appears to me wearing a coat designed by Hershey’s.” That poem is out of date because he now appears to me wearing a coat with the IRS emblem. The one thing that can exasperate me to tears the quickest seems to be a lot of papers that are unreadable to me. With all the OCR apps that are out there, I haven’t found one yet that services my needs, even the newest later and greater ones. Of course there are twenty-five hundred dollar ones that probably work? Well that’s out of the question, especially since now, due to papers I cannot read, I owe the government even more than that. It’s awkward enough to realize I sat across from a young man who totally messed up a tax return for me, but here we go, my trip to the IRS. I order my cab the day before the trip because that’s how our city transportation program works. The cab pulls up and Vivi and I get in. We ride for about ten minutes and as we get out the driver tells me to just walk straight for a while. Vivi finds the door. Inside it feels like an empty hallway. It probably feels that way because that’s exactly what it is. I hear a voice coming around the corner and it smiles at me as it asks me if I need help. Vivi follows the nice gentleman to the door of the IRS Service. It’s as quiet as midnight in here. I see nothing but a blaring overhead fluorescence. Another nice gentleman puts a slip of paper in my hand. “Is this a number?” I say. “Yes, he answers as he sends someone to get me a chair. “What number is it?” I say as I hear squeaky wheels rolling across the carpet. “501” he says. “Is there no chair empty?” I ask. He doesn’t answer but I feel the chair arrive as it bumps against the backs of my knees and I do a little shag step to keep from losing my balance. I sit down with an undignified flop. My feet don’t touch the floor. I feel conspicuous knowing I’m somehow sitting alone, outside a group of people. Vivi’s head turns this way and that as she takes her place on the floor beside the squeaky wheels. Immediately I begin fumbling for the controls on the bottom of the chair. It must look like my parachute didn’t open as my body drops at least four inches and my breath doesn’t. Nobody gasps or even laughs but hey, my feet now touch the floor. Still, I find that somebody could drive a small truck between the bottom and the back of the chair. I lean back and the back of the chair does too. I am searching for more controls; they are all stuck. A young man is standing somewhere in the front of the room I presume, telling us the wait is going to be twice as long today because some people are out. I’m looking for my ear phones so I can read a book if I can stand to sit in this awkward position. I wonder if someone would go to my house and get my head set, but realize that’s not an option. I’m contemplating leaving as Vivi suddenly stands up and starts pulling me forward as though she sees another dog or something. I take four tentative steps, reach down and touch Vivi’s pretty head which is now laying on a padded chair seat I should have been taken to. I sit down and try to be quiet. My phone vibrates but I have no ear buds. A bell rings sounding like a door bell. Silence. Soon another doorbell sounding ring. After several rings I go to the place I came in. Someone is standing there. “What do those bells mean?” I ask. “Every time one rings it shows a number up front,” someone explains. I’m wondering how I will know when mine shows 501. I continue my walk toward the door. “Oh let me help you,” the bell lady says. “NO thank you,” I say, smiling as I tell her Vivi knows the way out. She follows us out anyway. Next time I go to the IRS I hope I remember to pack a head set, a sun visor, a pillow, an inflatable chair, and patience.

FRIENDS

 

When I started this blog my goal was, and still is to  help bridge the gap of understanding between the world of the blind and the sighted. The best way to do this most times is with humor. Even so now and then there comes a little bump in the road that just doesn’t seem funny. Just now I am standing in the middle of that little bump “looking” for balance. Sometimes it becomes too easy for someone like me to assume that a friend just plain LOVES being with me, strolling the streets in the city and roaming the malls until absolutely everything on a to/do list is finished. Such complacency to the reality is always a shock when I find out I can truly run someone ragged and make them totally crazy. So what does one do when a friend says “I can’t go out tomorrow?”  First of all, you totally get the fact that you are not the center of this person’s universe and that they have other more pressing obligations pending. You truly understand as you kick yourself in the bottom with your foot … if you can still do that. But then the person says: “but I will still do anything you need done if I can just do it for you.” That’s the bump I’m tripping over. Suddenly I realize how much more quickly a person can get things done without a blind person and a dog slowing them down. Today I have decided to try one more time to make new rules to make it easier for my friends as well as myself.

My new rules:

~Do not ask a person to go shopping, to lunch, to the post office, to stop by the church, to the bank, the drug store, the vet, and the grocery store all in one day. … and then read my mail.

 ~Learn to pay my bills on-line instead of having someone helping me with checks.

Remember to label hand creams, face creams, shampoos, conditioners, cleaning products, and medications so as not to keep asking someone to read the labels over and over.     

Now, some of the amazing things my friends do:

~Take me shopping, to lunch, to the post office, the church, the drug store, the bank, the vet, and the grocery store.

~Read mail and help write checks.

~Drive a hundred miles to visit with my Mom and sometimes one hundred and fifty miles to see my friend in Charlotte.

~Call me and try to persuade me to do lunch; doesn’t take much persuasion.

~Call and ask me to a movie.

~Call and invite Vivi over for a play date with their dog.

~Invite Vivi and me to go for a walk,

~Invite me to spend a weekend,

~ Save plastic bags for me so I can look after Vivi’s doggy needs.

~Ask if they can pick me up for a party.

~Bring me tomatoes from the Farmer’s market or their gardens without being asked,

~Help me with a web site that is not user friendly, if they can,

Go driving in the rain to another grocer just because I didn’t like the cheese in WallMart,

~Give me a hug when I don’t deserve one,

And just recently, rush from the train station to my house in five o’clock Raleigh traffic to retrieve my dog’s harness and get back to the station before the train leaves.

 

Most of all, these are not people who feel sorry for me; they are truly my friends. So, I hope for all you readers, blind and sighted, that you: 

~Have people like these special ones in your life,

That you don’t become sensitive when they just don’t have time,

~That you don’t take them for granted nor overuse their generosity,

~That when you think you have nothing to give in return you give them appreciation, understanding, a listening ear, spiritual support,

~That you thank God for them,

~And you tell them often they are loved, and mean it.

 

Did somebody say something about a bump?

 

 

FRIENDS

 

When I started this blog my goal was, and still is to  help bridge the gap of understanding between the world of the blind and the sighted. The best way to do this most times is with humor. Even so now and then there comes a little bump in the road that just doesn’t seem funny. Just now I am standing in the middle of that little bump “looking” for balance. Sometimes it becomes too easy for someone like me to assume that a friend just plain LOVES being with me, strolling the streets in the city and roaming the malls until absolutely everything on a to/do list is finished. Such complacency to the reality is always a shock when I find out I can truly run someone ragged and make them totally crazy. So what does one do when a friend says “I can’t go out tomorrow?”  First of all, you totally get the fact that you are not the center of this person’s universe and that they have other more pressing obligations pending. You truly understand as you kick yourself in the bottom with your foot … if you can still do that. But then the person says: “but I will still do anything you need done if I can just do it for you.” That’s the bump I’m tripping over. Suddenly I realize how much more quickly a person can get things done without a blind person and a dog slowing them down. Today I have decided to try one more time to make new rules to make it easier for my friends as well as myself.

My new rules:

~Do not ask a person to go shopping, to lunch, to the post office, to stop by the church, to the bank, the drug store, the vet, and the grocery store all in one day. … and then read my mail.

 ~Learn to pay my bills on-line instead of having someone helping me with checks.

Remember to label hand creams, face creams, shampoos, conditioners, cleaning products, and medications so as not to keep asking someone to read the labels over and over.     

Now, some of the amazing things my friends do:

~Take me shopping, to lunch, to the post office, the church, the drug store, the bank, the vet, and the grocery store.

~Read mail and help write checks.

~Drive a hundred miles to visit with my Mom and sometimes one hundred and fifty miles to see my friend in Charlotte.

~Call me and try to persuade me to do lunch; doesn’t take much persuasion.

~Call and ask me to a movie.

~Call and invite Vivi over for a play date with their dog.

~Invite Vivi and me to go for a walk,

~Invite me to spend a weekend,

~ Save plastic bags for me so I can look after Vivi’s doggy needs.

~Ask if they can pick me up for a party.

~Bring me tomatoes from the Farmer’s market or their gardens without being asked,

~Help me with a web site that is not user friendly, if they can,

Go driving in the rain to another grocer just because I didn’t like the cheese in WallMart,

~Give me a hug when I don’t deserve one,

And just recently, rush from the train station to my house in five o’clock Raleigh traffic to retrieve my dog’s harness and get back to the station before the train leaves.

 

Most of all, these are not people who feel sorry for me; they are truly my friends. So, I hope for all you readers, blind and sighted, that you: 

~Have people like these special ones in your life,

That you don’t become sensitive when they just don’t have time,

~That you don’t take them for granted nor overuse their generosity,

~That when you think you have nothing to give in return you give them appreciation, understanding, a listening ear, spiritual support,

~That you thank God for them,

~And you tell them often they are loved, and mean it.

 

Did somebody say something about a bump?

 

 

SCIENCE FICTION BIRTHDAY DREAM

I decided to wait a day before posting this blog so as not to confuse readers with my real birthday July 11. This was my dream on the night of July 10.

 

My birthday had just passed. A friend (don’t know who) and I were down town Raleigh years ago, new friend, old Raleigh. We went up the elevator in Hudson Belk for a sale but the only things for sale were Christmas items in July. I wanted to buy them and figured only my daughter would not be surprised to see Christmas trees on my mantle in August, but she would be surprised when they were red, white and blue. I told them to deliver the trees and when I got off the elevator found myself eating dinner with a guy I never knew and still don’t. We had the best talk but I apologized to him for my talking too much about the wedding that only happened two months ago. Then I noticed his hair was dark and thick and his eyes were dark too. People are surprised when I tell them I can see in my dreams, not perfectly, but with the vision I had when I could see best. Anyway, this guy was PERFECT! That should have clued me in that it was a dream. Instead I worried terribly because he didn’t seem to realize I am seventy-two. He asked me to have dinner the next night and I was screaming at him as I got pushed out of the dining area that he didn’t know my name. My friend bounced back in the dream. “I met a guy,” I told her. “I know you did but you are seventy-two,” she said as she pushed me into a door for a Bible study. People were DOING crafts and talking about other people. “This isn’t fun,” I said as I suddenly could not see well anymore and begin fumbling around the room for the elevator. The room became the elevator and suddenly threw me out onto the street. “Run!” my friend Margaret yelled at me. “You are late for work!” Give me a ride,” I begged as I climbed into her trunk. My computer was in there. The trunk turned into the attic where I once typed before my son was ever born and there were other women typing in there. “You are fired!” my boss told me. “You can’t fire me I am seventy-two and I don’t work for you anymore.” Then Margaret was leaving to go back home to New Mexico. “You can’t leave,” I said, “you never even got out of your car.”

ALARM!

I almost NEVER remember dreams, so I decided to write this one quickly before I forget. A guy? That is the last thing on my mind, honest! So now the truth is known; my overactive imagination when I am awake is even more active when I’m asleep. Maybe one day I will remember some of the beautiful songs I often hear while sleeping. Goodness, I hope you don’t try to interpret this dream for me; I honestly think it means I am seventy-two.

 

 

 

My View of the Wedding

May 16...

Let me back track to May 15, rehearsal day. After getting acclimated with the site, a beautiful vineyard and a beautiful sunny day, I felt comfortable with my out-of-the-way spot with the keyboard and my music partner for the wedding, Mike Gregory. I had prayed for sunshine, but maybe not THIS much sunshine? Anyway, as practice began Vivi laid like her usual sweet self right beside the keyboard. Suddenly I heard her crunching something that sounded like something very hard to crunch. Still, before I could reach down and grab it out of her mouth, it disappeared and rehearsal continued. All went well until the bride started her little practice walk down the aisle. Suddenly Vivi saw her and bolted like a hound dog going after a coon, wearing harness and leash and totally ignoring our own well-rehearsed command “Vivi come!” and crashing right into the middle of the wedding party. The bride is one of her favorite people.

May 16, 6 AM.  Vivi is doing the fox trot on my bed … then, whatever she swallowed yesterday bounces right onto the blanket.  Could have been worse, could have been me. We’re up now and I’m getting ready to get my hair did with Christi, the mother of the bride.  We laugh and talk about the wedding day. 

Today I made arrangements for my friend, Teresa,  to drop by before leaving for Angier, NC, in order to assure me the dress looks fine and I have no broccoli or something on my teeth. Then Mike and his lovely Lisa wife pick me up and we’re off. About twenty miles we ride, talking and laughing, then it’s almost time. This time I take Vivi to see Brittany BEFORE the wedding begins so she won’t be surprised. Brittany let’s me feel the dress, touching the bodice, the skirt, the train and veil. My mind tears up but my lips smile. Then I take my comfortable place behind the keyboard. Today I put Vivi’s leash around the leg of the bench I am sitting on. If she bolts today, the bench, the keyboard, the microphone and me will go with her. I hear the covered wagon letting people off who ride from the reception room to the outdoor spot in front of a lake which Brittany has chosen for her wedding. There’s a faint smell of grapes in the air and a slight breeze. 

It’s 5:30 PM and the sun is thinking about setting in a few hours as it blazes a trail around the lake. I hear the sound of horses’ hoofs and the slight rattling of carriage wheels. Even though I see nothing, I know Brittany is in a white carriage being pulled by white horses around part of the perimeter of the lake. The sun is so hot but my arms fill up with little spirit bumps as a picture forms in my mind of exactly what a beautiful scene it makes. Then it’s time for her wedding entrance. “Oh dear God!” and that’s a prayer, not an expletive. The keyboard sound disappears. For about four seconds the venue is quiet as Barry, the D.J. realizes I changed settings  and it killed the sound. Now, sound restored, Brittany walks down the short distance before I want to stop playing. I stop anyway. After her dad sits down Mike and I sing the song I wrote for her wedding day, perfectly until the very last note which gets lost in my heart and won’t come back like the sound of the keyboard did. I did hit it enough to get the word out and say a silent thank you prayer that Mike carried the note to its full count. 

Then, as the service progresses, I am lost in my flashbacks:

Brittany and I sit at Ruby Tuesdays over two years ago. She is planning her wedding, spring, summer, winter, or fall. She is so excited. The waiter comes over and congratulates her, only to learn she isn’t even engaged yet, only dreaming.

Back to earth. The service is over. Brittany and Zac get into the white carriage as eyes are glued on the bride and groom, now husband and wife. I hear the horses hoofs. 

After the wedding party has exited the venue I learn that my former husband, Jim, was sitting on the front row with his own guide dog, Chloe. When the horses came around close to the seats on that side, Chloe bolts just like Vivi did yesterday, only her leash was wrapped around Jim’s wrist at least three times. Jim leaves his chair as if it were a slip&slide and lands, in his new suit, in the dirt. Where are the cameras? He didn’t get hurt, so it’s okay if you want to laugh. He laughs about it now.

I ride the covered wagon with the others back to the reception area. The room is beautiful inside, but the colored lights have a great time turning my light vision into a circus. It’s all good as I enjoy a glass of wine made at the vineyard, enjoy the announcement by the DJ as the bridal party enters, hear a strong and purposeful blessing on the wedding and the future given by my son, Kevin, have a meal fit for a king, listen to toasts made by Taylor, the bride’s sister, and Ken, Zac’s father.

Let the dancing begin! Vivi lies quietly like a little angel under the table. I wait for an old tune, something maybe like the “Twist.” It never happens. 

As the evening continues my heart is overflowing as I watch Brittany, knowing that she had no idea of the joy she would feel this night as she planned her wedding over two years ago in Ruby Tuesdays. Her dream has come true. After the cutting of the cake, the throwing of the bridal bouquet, the "put in a dollar to dance with the bride" session, a shower of bubbles usher her and Zac out the door at 10 PM as they get into the limousine to begin their future together.

The year of practicing wedding music is over. Time to see what happens next in my life, hoping for even more beautiful visions.

WEDDING REHEARSAL

2:30 PM May 15,

When I was young we used to play the game of “Farmer in the dell.”  Anyone remember? Let’s see, the farmer takes a wife, the wife takes a child, the child takes a nurse, the nurse takes a dog, the dog takes a cat, the cat takes the rat and the rat takes the cheese? And the cheese is the one that stands alone.  Hi-ho the Dario, I’m the cheese. No one to watch me standing in front of a mirror and saying:  “That dress really looks nice,” “That color looks good on you;” “that makes you look so young,” or any of those nonsensical things that most times people are just being nice anyway. Is this a pity party? You betcha. Let’s see now:  It’s rehearsal day and evening dinner. You are hungry but you don’t eat because it will mess with your voice when you sing.  You don’t dare drink or you will have to go to the bathroom you don’t know where is in a strange place, and your ride must be late or I wouldn’t be writing this blog. You guessed it, I must be the grandmother of the bride. Well, I prayed and asked God to keep me humble, but maybe not THIS humble.     

2:35 May 15,

Ride is here, knocking at the door and talking as he enters saying:  “That dress really looks nice,” “That color looks good on you;” “that makes you look young.” I believe him.

5:25 PM:  We start rehearsal. I play the violin like nobody is listening, and hope they aren’t.

5:40 PM:  Bride starts her practice walk down the aisle. I am playing the keyboard. Suddenly my guidedog, Vivi, sees Brittany, who he adores and bolts all the way across the yard right into the middle of the wedding party!      

Stay tuned; May 16, is on the way.