BLIND LADY AND THE BUG

 

 

You are enjoying a peaceful Saturday evening rest after an exceptionally busy week when you hear something bouncing around on your front door like the glass is a trampoline. You can’t see it, but the more it bounces around the bigger it gets in your mind. What to do? Alert the dog? … She doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe it’s on the outside wanting in, but you’re more afraid it’s on the inside wanting out. You think about calling your next-door neighbor but cringe when you remember calling him before because you heard imaginary water running outside like a pipe had burst, or the time you woke him up because there was a wood-be robber on your patio. You tiptoe to the storm door like the thing is going to jump in your face. Nothing happens, so you grit your teeth and open the storm door. The thing really starts jumping around in triple time, so you think whatever it is has left the premises. You breathe a relieved sigh, sit back down just in time to hear more bumping around on the glass. You get up again and swing the door open and shake it like it’s a lint-filled area rug. Got-chu!” Peace at last … you thought. What to do? More dancing bug; more shaking! You can’t breathe! You know you feel that bug chasing you! In a hissy-fit you shut the heavy front door, sorry you had to resort to violence for the critter.  Now you sit with no peace at all, imagining you hear a trapped insect between the doors. You realize you are trapped too, or at least may have to use the back door for the rest of your life.

…

Bugs, bees, whatever, anything that creeps, crawls, buzzes, whirs, swishes, jumps in the grass, sings a song just before it bites, are a few of my not favorite things. Now I look on facebook but every picture I can’t quite make out appears to be a bug. Once I posted a true experience on facebook which said  “The bee and I both wanted the same drink. He drowned and my nose hurts.”