Sometimes I do find myself wanting to tell the whole world about the little tiny incidences God moves into my heart and keeps it together, …  things like yesterday? I took Vivi out, couldn't find what she had done so came back in only to realize I had to wash my shoes, and I was planning to give her a bath. I was amazed at how that just didn't bother me. Then I could not find the shampoo, but finally did, only to realize I couldn't get the shower head down like it is supposed to come so I could work better with it. After a while and finally realizing I was going to make myself fall I decided we'd do it in the tub. for the first time ever Vivi hopped in the tub like she really wanted a bath; thank God. Usually I have to pick up her 55 pounds. And all of that does not even include such a silly thing as dropping an empty soda bottle on the kitchen floor and not being able to find it. Once upon a time I could have seen it, but this time it required a prayer which God quickly answered. And oh how I could go on and on and on forever. We all have little frustrations that pop in and out of our heart so quickly we almost forget to say "thank you" to our precious Jesus when they are over. I am overwhelmed, overcome, and tearfully humbled by the blessings God has poured all over me! Letting go of this life seems so difficult, yet as it falls away bit by bit my spiritual hands can't raise high enough!  These moments of God's presence seem rare at times until we pick up a day, look at it and ask:  Where did I see Jesus today? It always amazes me when things that should frustrate me don't, and things that shouldn't, do. It's only when I walk constantly remembering who gives me the air to breathe that I realize the eternal joy of God that wraps my life up in His grace and makes my paths straight.

 

 

 EVERYDAY GOD THINGS

NOT JUST EVERY DAY BLIND THINGS

 

 

Stay with me till the end; there’s a real point, honest.

It’s Saturday, January 2, 2016, and here I sit inside on the first sunny day we have had in weeks, seems like months. So, what kinds of things can I find to get into inside my own house while I recuperate from this pneumonia?

It was Sunday when, as I re-examined my Christmas gifts, I tried to tell my body it was not getting sick. It was Monday when what little vision I have was so blurred I kept finding myself running into walls and then not knowing which wall I had run into. So, I stood there and coughed while I tried to figure it out. There are about fifteen doctors in my health care group but none could see me until Wednesday morning. Since it was raining, raining, raining, it didn’t seem right to ask somebody to get out in the wetness and take me to an urgent care center. So, on Tuesday morning feeling like my body had been thrown under a bus I called again and found one of the PA’s in my doctor’s office had a cancellation and Christi took me over there. After chest x-rays, and Armed with seventy plus dollars of medication, I came home, took as much of anything that I could and hoped for a good night’s sleep. I am still hoping.

What a spoiled child I can be, realizing I have been in my house from last Sunday until today without seeing anyone for more than a few minutes at a time. Poor Vivi never complained or whined, but every time it looked like somebody might stop and come in she went running, tail wagging to the door.

On Thursday my friend Mary came over and picked up Vivi for a follow-up appointment to the vet for me. Vivi doesn’t like going to the vet but she was so glad to get out of the house she didn’t even fuss when she realized that was where she was going. Mary brought her back with a good report.

I realized Thursday night I had been taking the night time cold medicine in the day and vice versa; honestly, it doesn’t seem to make much difference.

How sweet it was to get texts from some of my family and friends New Year’s Eve, and many friends who offered prayers for me on facebook posts.

This week I have read three books, two of them really good, undressed the Christmas tree, packed up the Christmas decorations, and who knows, I might even vacuum before tomorrow.

Today I feel better, even washed a load of clothes which might stay in the dryer until next week. I lost my cool, couldn’t stand it another minute and Vivi and I dashed out into the sunshine. Surely a quick walk around the block would be good for me! We did just fine until coming home I stepped in some mud that was as slippery as ice. If Vivi hadn’t bumped against me pushing me to the other side …  I have a vision of myself sitting in the middle of a mini mud slide calling 9 1 1  and my family yelling at me for going out.

Now, hopefully I will get a little cleaning done soon, but no chemicals as it would send my cough into a brand new place.

Still, I hope soon someone who can see how to get the tree in its cover will come over. Isn’t it interesting how the tree with its beautiful lights looks so out of place when the season is over? I cannot carry it to the shed so it will be here until someone rescues it.

Mail? O goodness! It is three inches high, honest. I do hope someone can help me with that pretty soon also or I may find myself one day sitting in the cold with no internet!

I put my pictures back where the Christmas decorations used to be, but it is very likely some may be sideways or upside down.

It’s the little blind things sometimes that can be annoying, walls popping up in places you didn’t think they should be, not being able to take yourself or your dog to the doctor, taking medicines at the wrong times of the day, can’t put away the Christmas tree, dropping a pill on the floor, (didn’t mention that one), or, how many ways can we find to “fall in the mud?”

What you do is sum up the sweet things:  Sunny days, Christmas gifts, money to pay for the medications, texts, calls, and especially prayers from family and friends, a beautiful white dog that thinks you hung the moon, someone to take you or your dog  to the doctor, finding the pill you dropped on the kitchen floor, good books; God’s healing touch!

 

 

 

 

HOW TO LEARN TOLERANCE

 

You sit through a movie you happened to find as you are turning the TV. It’s a great movie. Wonder what the name of it is.

You sit through previews for the next movies they are going to show but you know you may not be able to find them since you don’t know what channel it is either.  

I guess the bottom line is that most people would just think if you can’t see the TV who would need one.

 

Your MD calls to say  he called in a prescription your child should start taking right away; you forgot to buy flour for the dinner recipe you were fixing for tonight; the dog or cat needs to get to the vet; you find out you forgot to pay the bill that is due tomorrow.

You can do none of those things because you can only schedule a cab for the day BEFORE you need it.

You call and schedule whatever you need for tomorrow.

The cab or van picks you up but you must get out of the vehicle and go inside. Once your errand is taken care of, you must go outside and wait for another vehicle to come pick you up, even if the errand took less than five minutes.

Heaven forbid you want to get to two places in one day.

 

Someone comes in to set up your modem for high-speed internet. You offer to turn off your screen reader so it doesn’t interfere with what he needs to do. He says he can take care of it. He leaves and you find out that instead of turning off your computer screen reader he muted the entire computer sound. Of course you have no way to turn it back on. You call him back to take care of it but the internet provider says you’ll have to set up another service call.

 

It’s a rainy day and your dog chooses to use the carpet as his potty place … but … where ?

There’s a bee in your house … but where?

There’s a hole hidden by the grass, oops   … right there!

 

You have a great friend who is committed to taking you to the grocery store every week. I hope everyone has a friend or family like that. Anyway, you get in the car, in the store and pull out the list for her that you have printed up. You didn’t know you were out of ink.

 

You can see a large TV picture, but nothing as small as the lighted numbers or colors on a cable box.  You try to call your service for help only to get someone who will not help you because you can’t see the lighted numbers or colors on a cable box.   

 

He’s the foreman for a tree servicing company and immediately gives his crew instructions on where to begin as he walks up to the door of the house. Just as he starts to put his hand  over the doorbell button a door opens, a lady seems to peer out at him, then immediately closes the door in his face. Why? He wonders.

Inside the house a blind lady hears saws outside. Her neighbors had a tree fall in their house the other day so she goes to the door to try to figure out if the saws are in her yard or in her neighbor’s yard. She slightly opens the door and hears the saws just outside so she closes the door, not realizing a man was standing there.

What happened? He rang the bell, she apologized, and later told me this story.

 

You are young, have some sight but not enough to read the church hymnal. You stand there holding the book, then the pew member standing beside you has no hymnal so she leans over to read along with you. She takes the book from your hands, turns it right side up and gives it back.

 

There are a few answers to some of these little imperfections. First of all, there is now an app that goes with my TV internet service which I am able to use to navigate channels etc.

I have learned to try to remember things I might need tomorrow, mostly making notes so I won’t forget. Should an unexpected emergency pop up I thank God for my family and friends, though I try very hard not to take advantage of their good natures. One never knows when a real crisis could occur so never overuse those who are available to call, and realize things could be worse; you could live somewhere where there’s no transportation provided at all.

Some things just happen and they surely must happen to teach blind people how to sort out what is really a crisis and what is just something to smile about later.

Church hymnals? That’s a pride thing; you’ll grow out of it, or, maybe you’ll go to a church that uses overheads and sings songs with so much repetition everybody will think how cool it is that you know the words.

There are so many things to be thankful for I try to never waste my time thinking of things that aren’t. Today is a sad day for America as we realize violence lives in the hearts of many. Sometimes I feel frightened walking with my dog, very vulnerable in an open space alone. All I know to do about that is pray for God’s protection and remember the words “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me.”  

 And today I wrote this little note hoping to get at least one more person besides myself to smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

THINGS THAT GO BOOM IN THE DAY

 

I was sitting in front of the TV. Suddenly I heard a very loud boom from inside my house. It sounded like the glass on my front door had splintered in some places and something was falling from the ceiling. The only thought that crossed my mind was a gunshot. The second thing that crossed my mind was that since there were roofing people working on the town homes that some equipment had blown up. I was afraid to move but ran with Vivi into the bedroom so I could get out the back door if I needed to. I immediately hit the button and told Siri to call 911. Suddenly I felt very vulnerable, very afraid, and very blind. I was telling the lady the proper information and had calmed down just a little … and.  Then I realized I also smelled something. It smelled a little like a rotten egg. Realization hit me as I opened the bedroom door, walked to the kitchen because I remembered I had forgotten all about putting two eggs on to boil for the chicken salad I was going to make for dinner. “OH please please please don’t send anybody! My neighbors already expect me to be weird!” I begged the 911 operator, as I started to explain the situation. She started laughing. Talk about having egg on your face. Thank goodness I only put two eggs in that pot. I found most of one of the eggs on the stove, black shell and all. I couldn’t find the other one so I did what I always do when I’m in a pinch, called Christi. We found the other egg … on the pop corn type ceiling, on the light fixture, the refrigerator, stove, trash can, cabinets, tops of picture frames, anything and everything that was in the kitchen and then some. That egg really did blow up into a million pieces, like large grains of salt only water did not make it melt one bit. Probably I will continue to find egg grains in hidden places we missed, but then, I guess that’s one way to get help to get my kitchen cleaned.

Now, in case any of you just are waiting on the edge of your seat wondering if I ever made the chicken salad? No. I put that chicken back in the fridge and ate cereal for dinner.

I realize that twenty years ago I’d have probably done something else stupid when I heard the big bang like walk out my front door to see if anyone was outside, or gone into my kitchen and felt around to see if something like the sky had fallen.

Now, surely I must tell you what I was watching on TV that I was concentrating on so much that I forgot about the eggs? “Dr. Phil!”  Yes, Dr. Phil had the lady on who had poured Drain-O in her eyes so she could become blind. I truly pray she gets the help she needs to find the truth.

Today however it concerns me just a little as I wonder if the S in Seventy means senile; then I have to laugh as I think a closer fit would be Silly. Nothing on TV is worth all that.

 

MUST BE AUTUMN

 

Must be autumn!

They play the World Series more often than they used to,

And the store on the corner is farther away now.

 

Save our environment! Save our planet!  Save our souls

As the axis turns the tilted world around once more, spinning the old people until they become dizzy,

Stepping in the footprints they made as babies.

But their memories are as gold as the leaves on the trees.

Is it the Sourwood tree or the Sugar Maple that crowns their seasons?

 

Must be autumn!

Back to school, coats and sweaters.

Is it pecans or pe cons?

The squirrel doesn’t care.

Run deer run!  Roll through the leaves and smell the wood fires!

Run deer run! Ageless as the tears and smiles.

Fly turkeys fly As we set out the pumpkins and bring in the plants.

Geese headed south like a choreographed dance.

 

Must be Autumn!

Play children play while the news is just something that interrupts the music.

While you trust in miracles, the old woman in a shoe.

And smiley faces on gingerbread people.

Who believe the recipe is forever new.

Let’s all go down to the store and buy ourselves a baseball.

Hit it out of sight!  … and Harvest it someday from a river on the moon.

 

A FEW DAYS

Sunday evening

If sounds came with this blog you would hear one dog squeaking a Kong football, one chasing a Kong squeaking tire, and the other one breathing so hard trying to keep up with the other two. My little 1040 square feet bungalow is filled with two working guide dogs and one retired guide dog. They are exceptionally good dogs, but I closed off half the house so they are living in 520 square feet. My former husband is having a hip replacement and this seems to be his dogs’ home away from home.

Monday

This morning at 3 AM Chloe began shaking herself. She has on so many clanging tags she could work for the Salvation Army at Christmas. I drug myself off the couch and went out into the very early morning dampness with her. It is always a surprise to experience the coolness of a fall morning, hearing leaves being blown from the limbs and knowing they are beautiful even in the darkness. Of course Chloe and I came back in and she settled right back into a peaceful sleep while I began running this day through my mind.

I decided to get up before dawn while everyone was asleep and take my shower. Not wanting to alarm the fur babies, I decided to use the shower in the hall bathroom so they could find me if they panicked. Now, I do not know if I washed my body with shampoo or my hair with body wash, but one of them smelled like toothpaste.  

It’s time to take the dogs out before breakfast. These dogs are trained to empty their tummies and bladders on command so it’s easy to clean up after them. This works well for two of the dogs, my Vivi and Jim’s Chloe, both labs. Autumn who is a Goldendor and is retired seems to have retired from that command as well. Sunday night she started to play with a stick … that moved. It was determined to be a Copperhead. The young snake skidded off in a rush and may be living now in the workings of whatever is underneath someone’s car.

Finally, with Dogs all taken out, fed, watered, beds moved out of the middle of the floor, bowls washed, taken for individual walks (three walks for me), long play time, it’s time for a treat. Chloe missed the treat and got my finger. I forgot all about the beautiful experience we had in the middle of the night and yelled at her. She isn’t speaking to me yet.

Tuesday

I decide to walk the dogs with my hair still wet since rain doesn’t matter anyway. It seems as though it rains every Tuesday because it’s the day I get to go outside in the mud and bring the trash cans and the recycle bin around to the front for emptying. With my shoes caked with mud and my hair rinsed well in rain water I bring Chloe out for a short walk and return her and take Autumn for a shorter walk. back inside I realize I have left my own Vivi shut up in the bedroom for over forty-five minutes.

After a repeat of Monday morning’s routine I light a cinnamon scented candle and take pictures of the beautiful three girl dogs. They don’t want to cooperate so I go outside and take it through the front door.

My tasks for today besides the next walking, playing and treats include taking out burners and scrubbing them, vacuuming the house, emptying the dishwasher, washing a load of clothes, and trying not to forget to water the plants. Dogs are playing, things are going well and suddenly Dene, Jim’s wife, comes in. We pack up the dogs, beds, food, bowls, leashes and toys and load up the car. Although I am glad Jim’s hip replacement has gone well, I realize I enjoyed the camaraderie of the canines.

…

I open up the bedrooms and remember to water the plants. The burners can wait for tomorrow. Doctor Oz is talking about sprouted guiltless bread and how this lady loves it and was able to put down her carbs. I make a face and keep on scrubbing stove parts, but I quit and run into the living room when he says he is going to show people how to sharpen their brain in older age. Of course, you take this little test every day and it’s all done by sight. I turn off the TV. 

The house is quiet.  No jangle tags, no squeaking toys, no pretend growling, no biting fingers. I fix myself a Cappuccino and sit down to rest with a good book. I’m almost falling asleep when Vivi comes over and pushes the toy in my lap. Time for a game of football.

  

CLEANING IT UP

 

Sometimes I find myself looking for a new subject for my blog but inevitably one will drop in my lap and make me wonder why I didn’t talk about it already. I want to thank my sister-in-law, Linda, for helping me out and hope she knows she really did. One day she called and asked “What are you doing?”  “Cleaning up,” I said. “How?” she asked. So I realized that even those who have known us blind folks forever sometimes have to stop and wonder things.

When I attended the Governor Morehead School in the 1950’s, we had maids to clean our rooms and bathrooms. It is a little amazing that we were really not taught some things. However, when I attended the Rehabilitation Center for the Blind in the 1960’s. While thinking I was there to merely wait for a place in a class to open up at Duke Medical Center where I would begin my career path, I found myself being put in a class called demands of daily living, and another one called laundry. These classes were taught by totally blind people. Laundry? I thought. I’ve been doing my own laundry since being twelve years old. It was the ironing that opened my eyes (so to speak). At that time creases in pants were a MUST. It never occurred to me that if you line up those in-seams the creases perfectly line up, front and back, and last at least until somebody sits down? And then there were those shirt sleeves that always must be rolled up to be in style. Rolling them up and ironing them that way really helped them not start falling down just about the time a young man knocked on the door of his girlfriend’s house. That’s when young men really did do that. Cleaning bathrooms! No fun for any person, perhaps more not fun for a blind person. Yet we were given instructions on brushes, cleansers, scrubbing, mopping, making sure things like the tops of tiles around a shower or rims around the top of a tub  were always dried off or either wiped off when cleaning. We learned to touch most surfaces because it might look clean, but it needed to FEEL clean as well. We had been making hospital tucks in our sheets for like ever, yet learned to fold the corner of that bottom sheet backwards over one hand so it would slip right over that corner easier, most of the time anyway. We learned to put our hand inside a plastic bag, lay it over a pile of anything such as spilled ravioli in one spot or pick up the mess a dog makes from the carpet or outdoors. We learned to be careful if we took the broom to knock down spider webs not to knocked down a picture instead. Those are just a few things we hopefully learned; here are more things I found out once I became married and had children.

Sweeping works better for me barefooted.       

I never could get those hard water stains out of the tub because I had no idea there was such a thing. I think they have cleaners that work better these days, but I have a fiberglass tub which is easier to clean, although I’d surely like to have one of those fancy showers you see advertised on TV for older people.

I cannot get soot off the walls, well, maybe I could if I realized it was there.

Sometimes there might be a stain on the cabinet top that is totally unfeelable. I just wait for somebody to let me know I missed it.

Then there’s this air return vent up so high over my hallway door that it fills up with lent. Finally, after my X husband’s new wife informed me how bad it looked, I bought a long handled mop to reach it. Is there a way to show a tongue sticking out on the computer?

Once I began keeping my grandchildren for my own children to work, I also worked at home, so I hired a cleaning lady, truly a joy in my life! Sometimes she thought there was a problem I didn’t see because I was blind, however, there were times I certainly knew it was there, just waited for her to deal with it. I must admit how great it was to know I didn’t have to be embarrassed for people to see anything amiss and think “poor thing didn’t see it.”

  Streaking windows and doors plagues me to this day! Why can’t somebody invent glass that just won’t streak? I now have a new cleaner guaranteed not to streak; I’ll let you know as soon as somebody tells me I streaked my front storm door.

Now, last week when I was in Lexington I took everything off Mom’s bottom shelves on every table in her living room and dusted it thoroughly. I told her there were Bibles and papers that would take somebody ten years to sort out when she moves to heaven some day. I put everything back, except this one picture of my brother and sister-in-law, which I put back upside down. I didn’t do it on purpose, Linda, honest.