January 1, 2008
It’s quiet and peaceful inside my heart. There are no
problems to clutter up my communication with my own soul, so I am free to truly
feel and enjoy this large portion of emotions God has given me. Because of Him
I have lived to be sixty-four years old, to have a family to love, and a sweet
black lab angel lying beside me ready to jump up just in case I might think of
moving. I wish I could explain to some human how it feels to have a moment of
peace like this. It’s like hearing the sigh of a tiny baby sleeping, or a
beautiful song that drops chill bumps from heaven into a heart. Then there is a
mom somewhere exhausted knowing she still must get up and finish the dishes but
lies down for a quick rest on the sofa, only to notice the hands of her husband
placing a soft throw over her tired body, warming her through and through as
she hears the table being cleared. It’s the place in a strong man’s heart that
melts when his child smiles; it’s every peaceful place I have ever experienced or
read about all wrapped into a New Year’s package delivered today. It’s because
there is truly a God and he loves me and
my family and the special friends he has allowed me to know.
There is not one of my friends or family I can think of
today without loving them. There’s Mom with her eighty-seven years that have
molded her life making it ready for heaven. I was fifty years old before I knew
how shy she is. She’s just a little southern Baptist girl inside looking for a
day like this one.
As I feel the warmth blowing from the vents in my heart I
turn toward Jesus and pray that my friends and family experience such a time as
this on this brand New Year’s Day.
It is with a heart filled with peace I begin to allow myself
once more to touch the tender places inside me, even the tearful places I can
only touch while God holds my hand; childhood tears that can still live if I
let them, and I choose to let them only because those are the places that write
sad poems or songs, so we can understand how to smile. Frankly it feels good to
pick up a day of sadness and hold it in the hands of understanding, only
because now seeing it clearly, stroking it’s pain, I can put it away until my heart needs that kind of
tenderness once more to remind me of God’s amazing grace.
2015
Today it is a sweet yellow lab, white like angel wings, who
lies next to me just in case I think about moving. Pictures of my family grace
my living room walls and heart. Has anything changed while the earth has
circled the sun for seven more years? Certainly not God, and thank him for
that! This year I feel it most important that I step out from the walls of my
journal and let those I care about so much know how special they have been and
are in my life! For those of you who have taken your time to read this, you are
one of those people!
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