Tuesday, September 23, 2014

HOW TO MAKE A SANDWICH WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED

First of all, you must know where all the ingredients and/or condiments are kept. Otherwise, you will have to feel around the pantry and refrigerator, wasting time and becoming hungrier while you do. Let’s make a sliced turkey, tomato, and lettuce sandwich.

Open your pantry door and pick up loaf of bread from shelf where you store it. Place it on the cabinet counter top. Close pantry door, otherwise you will run into a half opened door which could cause a nose bleed, while wasting time, and becoming even more hungry.

Open refrigerator and take out sliced turkey from drawer or from where you have stored it. Take out tomato from its place in fridge, as well as lettuce. Place on counter top next to bread. Go back to fridge and pick up mayo from storage place, probably on refrigerator door. Close door and set mayonnaise on counter top.

Roll off a paper towel from roll and place it on counter top. Open loaf of bread and take out two slices. Lay the slices side by side on the paper towel. Go to cabinet drawer and take out knife. Open mayonnaise and put knife in jar to get enough to spread onto bread slices. Put the bread slice in your hand to keep from spreading mayo all over the sides of the bread down onto your paper towel, making a mess when you pick up your sandwich. Lick (I mean wipe) off any mayonnaise that might have gotten spread onto your hand accidentally. Once you have spread the mayonnaise onto the bread slice, lay it down beside the other slice of bread on the paper towel. You can put some mayo on both slices of bread if you wish. Close mayonnaise jar or you may forget where you placed the lid, thus having to hunt it, wasting more time while you get hungrier.

Open package of sliced turkey and place as many slices as you wish on top of mayonnaise spread. Close package. Wipe off with corner of paper towel and use your mayo knife if you wish to slice the tomato, being sure you slice the tomato away from your fingers. When you have as few slices as you wish, place on top of turkey slices on bread. Find a small sandwich bag and put left-over tomato inside, seal it up and place it next to mayonnaise on counter top. Open lettuce and tear off enough to top off the sandwich. Seal up lettuce head or bag. Now, place the unused slice of bread on top of your lettuce. Remember, bread slices go together in the right way, otherwise your sandwich will feel crooked and  you will not know where to start eating because there is no bread continuity. Take loaf of bread back to pantry, being sure it is sealed tightly. Close pantry door. Put lettuce, left-over tomato, and turkey slices in fridge where you will know how to find them again. Be sure the door closes.

Get a brand new paper towel or a paper plate and place your sandwich on it. Throw away used paper towel, rinse off knife, and place in dish washer. By this time you should be thoroughly hungry, as well as tired if you have never done this before. Carry your sandwich out of the kitchen, sit down and enjoy your lunch. I hope by the time you get settled you won’t remember that you wanted a pickle or something to drink with your meal.




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