THOUGHTS

 

It seems that books, speeches and such are made up of constructive well-developed thoughts, while often my blogs are stream of consciousness nonsense. I surely hope they never come up with a mind-reading machine because my mind would probably blow it up. So, for the past five days while being forced to stay inside because of the winter weather I decided to try to remember what I thought most about every day.

 

Friday:  “DO they really think it’s going to snow six inches?”  “They are way too sure of themselves; I’ll believe it when I see it.” “Glad I don’t have to run to the store for milk, bread or eggs.” “There’s the rain.” “I’d better see if I can find something on Netflix because all these people on TV can talk about is the weather.”

 

Saturday:  “Where’s the snow?” “My back door is frozen shut.” I took Vivi out and I walked around to the back door to see if I could push it open. Vivi stood on the front porch looking at the white mixed bag of precipitation and daring me to make her put her feet, much less her bottom,  on that cold ground. My neighbor in the town home next to me came out and cleaned off his porch, steps and sidewalk. My spirit fell when I realized he was not going to step about ten steps over and clean mine. I settled down for a long winter’s nap but decided to get acquainted with my new Apple TV, a special gift from some special friends over the holidays. This caused me to smile and not care that I was housebound and would not get out my front door for days to come. I watched “The Sound of Music” for about the fiftieth time and for the fiftieth time wondered if it was going to end right.

 

Sunday:  I watched the live message from my church and got upset with myself for having been so grumpy. I made a pot of vegetable soup and watched “the Sound of Music” for the fifty-first time and wondered for the fifty-first time if it was going to end right.

 

Monday:  “Vacuum, here I come.” Left-over veggie soup for lunch. “Bathrooms, get ready for the smell of cleaners because here I come.” Grilled cheese for dinner. “Well, the bathrooms and vacuuming can wait until tomorrow.” Turned on the Apple TV and there was no picture on the movie I was going to watch. I called the AppleCare accessibility line and the guy could not understand how I could see there was no picture on the TV but could see the apple when the TV came on. Me either, but as I was playing around while he was trying to figure it out the picture came on. After the movie I watched an old rerun of “The Dick Van Dyke Show” which I have seen at least fifty times. It was still funny.

 

Tuesday: “I thought it was going to be 40 degrees today. There’s nothing dripping like melting snow outside.” “Bathrooms, here I come,” and I did. “Vacuum you may as well wait until tomorrow because it’s going to be nothing but muddy outside if it ever gets up to 40 degrees.” Late in the afternoon I went down my front steps standing up for the first time since Friday.

 

Bored yet? I know if my cousin from Chicago reads this he’ll think I’m a total idiot for thinking six inches is anything to gripe about. He’d be right. But actually what is such a phenomenon over these five days is not what I thought about at all, but what I didn’t think about … blindness.

 

And this blog ends up being another one of my reasons for starting it in the first place, to show how a blind person lives in a sighted world. Blindness never crossed my mind but twice, once when my neighbor didn’t clear my sidewalk and when I called the AppleCare accessibility line. It’s always a blessed day when we can forget that we may have some limitations, and of course these thoughts if strung together would be less than a minute of my time. So many wasted thoughts, yet when you use them to see something worthwhile they can become constructive after all … at least as long as BlogSpot hasn’t changed their formatting page again.

THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS

 

I believe that the Jesus who loved me in my childhood when I did not know what a “sin” was is the same Jesus who loves me in my older age even though I have learned, and sometimes sin anyway.

 

I can no longer see the blooms open on my Christmas cactus and thought about it this morning. It still blooms whether anyone sees it or not. Then there are the times I crawl around on the floor looking for something dropped or clean up a spill and realize a smile from my knees is, like my cactus, seen somewhere.

 

If each kindness shown to me was represented by a light on my Christmas tree I’d need to light up every tree in every forest. I believe if everything I did for someone else was shining with a light it might be pretty dark.

 

Sometimes I plan to experiment by taking food I want to eat and don’t need and put it in a certain place just to see how long it would take me to make a week’s amount of meals for an entire family of four; four days? Three? Will I ever do it?

 

Today I passed by a tree filled with birds all making sounds like Alfred Hitchcock’s movie. Have you ever wondered what might remind someone of you?

 

What was that thing you meant to make a note about so you would not forget it?

 

This may not sound like a Thanksgiving poem, but wanted to be more subtle and hope we can look a little deeper, feel thanks more deeply, try harder, forgive longer, smile more, give freely, love better, and communicate with Jesus even when no one sees.

 

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

 

Eight years ago when Mom turned eighty-eight she had her first birthday party. She had never before been dressed in absolutely everything new including her jewelry or at least, not any time that she could remember. It can be a little difficult for an adult child to picture her mom as a girl, yet I can. I see her with her dark hair skating through the streets of Lexington like I used to skate through the sidewalks of my school, only my mom had a twin who skated with her.  I can imagine her getting a new pair of skates every Christmas as she said they did, skates and maybe a new doll, and stockings with fruits, nuts and candy. I can imagine her and her sister, my and Larry’s Aunt Jan giggling as they teased teachers and even their dates as to which one was which.  I can even feel a little sorry for their other sister, my and Larry’s Aunt Evelyn. Mom said the two of them would back each other up in case someone did something wrong, always saying it was Evelyn causing any problem that came up.

But mostly I see her as a wife and mother. There were times when we were young that she and Daddy laughed and kissed and daddy teased her until we couldn’t decide if she was laughing or crying. Some nights I think of her and almost hear her singing with the radio, especially early in the mornings when she thought I was asleep. There is no Christmas carol sung anywhere as beautiful as her voice singing with the radio, or the surprise in her voice when I found a record of “Silver Bells” Daddy had hidden as a surprise for her in 1951.

She told me about the days of the Second World War and how everybody went crazy with joy the day it ended, and how her brother fought on D Day. One time she even told me about their little sister, Christine, who had died at nine months of age, and how she still remembered holding her on the porch swing.

So many memories she carries inside her head now and I wish I had recorded some of those talks. I would encourage everyone to keep a journal of sorts or write a book like I did and embarrass their children one day.

However, today Mom turns NINETY-SIX! I wish she felt like having another birthday party, but am thankful she’s around to celebrate in her own comfortable way.

It would mean a lot to me, and to her, if some of you who were at that party would remember her this day and week and let her know she is as loved now as she was that special night that still means so much to her. If you still are fortunate enough to have your mom close by, even as close as a facebook post, send her a special hug just because you love her and that will help me celebrate Mom’s day too.

 

Happy birthday Geneva Yarborough! Mom!

 

 

 

SILLY SAYINGS

 

 

It’s fun to look back and laugh occasionally at the naiveté of a child.  Perhaps you can identify some of the things you believed as well, even some of the same things I thought were true.

 

Did you know that if you park a car in the sun and the sunshine is reflected off a wall inside the house a fire could start?

 

Surely since a nickel is heavier it must be worth more than a dime.

 

If you swallow a water melon seed it will grow inside your stomach. That one must be right up there with the baby being found in the cabbage patch. Silly people, don’t they know storks bring babies.

 

If you eat enough carrots you can see better. That may be true, but when I woke up one morning after eating twenty-one carrot strips for supper and couldn’t see one bit better I surely was disappointed.

 

IF it rains while the sun shines the devil is beating his wife, or, it’s going to rain again tomorrow.

 

If a dog eats a slice of white bread it will go mad. That must be true because my last dog ate a slice and got mad when I grabbed the rest of the loaf and he couldn’t get another slice. LOL, that was too cheesy.

 

If it gets printed in the newspaper it definitely is true. That surely might drive someone crazy if they believe it today.

 

I was totally convinced by my grandma that chicken hawks lived in the deep well out back.

 

She also convinced me that rubbing a wart with a potato and burying the potato in the back yard would take the wart off.

 

Mustard plasters?  Don’t laugh; check out YouTube. Most people call them folk lore or a poultice made with ground mustard. I call them hot and painful, not to mention the smell because I remember people using mustard right out of the jar.

 

If your ears ring more than 10 seconds someone is going to die. That one scared me so badly that every time my ears started to ring I ran to the water fountain and took large swallows of water to be sure they stopped before the 10 seconds passed.

 

It’s a world-wide superstition that if you split a post with someone while walking you’ll have bad luck. Of course I do not believe that … even though I did teach my last guide dog, Mego to always walk behind a person instead of causing me and that person to split that post. Have I taught that to Vivi? No, I just throw some pretend salt over my left shoulder?

 

This is how I believe superstitions work:  If you believe a bad luck saying like that is true, you wait for something bad to happen and then you honestly think whatever saying you believed in caused that thing to happen … even if it’s years later.   

 

Red headed people have bad tempers. Really? There must be red roots somewhere underneath my blonde hair.

 

My mother-in-law once gave me the most beautiful African violet ever. I loved it. “OH thank you so much!” I said. She answered:  “Oh no, you aren’t supposed to thank anyone when they give you a flower; now it will die.” It did … after two years.

 

Radios once had large tubes in them and often the backs of radios had something like heavy duty cardboard on the back with holes in it. How many of us picked up the set, put our eyes on the holes in back and pretended we saw people in there?

 

If you put a chicken’s head under its wing and rock it in your arms it will go to sleep. Unless chickens have changed since I was ten years old, it’s true; at least it worked for me; honest.

 

Okay, enough you say? I agree, especially since I don’t believe in luck, but believe my life is governed by God’s plan and no rabbit’s foot or ear ringing or post splitting has a thing to do with it. Still, it’s funny to look at how a human mind can work sometimes even when we’re grown. This is why I never copy, paste, share chain promises or even share testimony chains on social media, but only put this out there hoping somebody might really laugh today.

 

 

THINGS THAT MAKE ME CRAZY ... ER

 

 

All of these things are not just because I’m a blind person although most of them are. Some, however, are those things that back in the day we used to call pet peeves. We may be the only ones hosting them, yet some are funny and some are shared by folks who just haven’t said them out loud.

 

A few things include:

~Facebook posts that say copy and paste!

~Facebook posts that are print only.

~Going out to eat with someone who can’t stay off Facebook.

~Commercials that never say what they’re advertising.

~Game shows on TV that the game is almost done and the host says “here’s the three you missed,” as print appears.

~What channel is my TV on?

~the word hashtag?

 

Well, those seemed funny when I thought of them. Let me try again.

 

You go somewhere. A person appears and a memory alarm goes off in your head but the name doesn’t come with it. Then the person walks up and says: “Remember me?”

 

You think you are totally alone just after you’ve … ?

 

What?  Food programs that are clearly designed so you can lose weight … but not admitting they’re diets.

 

Coffee:

What do you mean there’s no coffee! … Monday morning.

 

Coffee venues caring who puts out the pumpkin spice latté first.

 

People arguing over a red cup at Christmas.

…

Incidentally, There’s no such thing as nose blind,

However I don’t walk when the wind is blowing hard because I can’t hear where I’m going.

 

People know you can’t see so they think you don’t know when they’re rolling their eyes … and they’re right.

 

People whispering so they think you can’t hear … and they’re wrong.

 

Forgetting a word, a name, a place or a phrase in the middle of a sentence.

 

Remembering a word, a name, a place or a phrase that embarrassed me forty years ago.

 

Phones:

Political phone calls.

 

Calls that begin with someone saying:  “I’m not trying to sell you something,” then does.

 

Where’s the button that makes my phone ring so I can find it?

 

Things that make my blood pressure go up a notch:

Spending time returning phone calls because customer service didn’t get it right.

 

Now, just as a side note, these little things come from a compilation of notes that are jotted down in my memory file so as not to spend all day wondering what to write. So, let me wish you all a great day with no blustering winds outside, no distasteful phone calls, nothing embarrassing happening to you, a good cup of coffee … or tea … and some blog or Facebook post to make you smile.

 

 

A DAY IN THE LIFE

 

(A mission from a blind person, to help us all understand each other better).

 

Once about approximately twelve years ago I met a friend who influenced my behavior in a positive way. I was complaining about folks who said things when they thought I couldn’t hear them like: “bless her heart.” Those kinds of remarks tended to make me crazy mad and I found myself wanting to turn on them in such a way that they would probably pray for my heart instead of blessing it. This person pointed out to me that I had no more of an idea how it seemed to those who could see than they had of how it is for me not to see. I will admit that there still are occasionally times when I want to stick out my tongue or make a face when someone points to a product I am asking about in a store or asks one of my friends: “Can I pet her dog?”  However, as I sit here I feel the need to pay tribute to all those good folks who have helped me in so many ways, and point out a few good people in so many places.

Where to begin? How about those sweet ladies who have been willing to drive their cars a hundred miles to see my mom, refuse to accept a tank of gas,  and then bring me back home, people like Margaret, Winnie, Dorsey, Teresa, and Mary. If these special ladies don’t enjoy doing this, they surely have me fooled. They love seeing Mom also. Now that we can’t go shopping or riding around or out to eat anymore because of mom’s health, still they go! Then Janet, from another hundred miles away drives down to visit and always says: “What do you need help with?”

I know there is a TV show called “A Day in the Life,” so I don’t want to get sued; maybe I should call the blog, this day in my life.

But before I get to this day, let me tell you about my ophthalmologist. He and I have appealed the decision of my insurance concerning eye drops at least four times, at least so many times that now the only way to win is to go through a hearing with a judge. The drops cost me $135.00 a month because my eye reacts badly to the preservatives in the generic. Believe me, we have tried oodles of drops and this is the one that works without side effects. Instead of going through a hearing he just tells me not to worry, he’ll take care of it.

So now, just a few people from this very day. First of all, anyone who is blind really resists asking for help as much as possible. Well, there may be a few who have no problem with it whatsoever. Anyway, as my vision deteriorates it is necessary for me to ask for help more than I ever thought I could. Almost eighteen months ago the City of Raleigh begin working on getting an audio light and painted crosswalk at a street I cross which has become busier since the building up of businesses in the area. Finally about a week ago it appeared.  This morning it wasn’t a difficult decision for me to go to Sam’s Club which is on the other side of that crossing. Vivi has learned where the pharmacy is in Sam’s Club, but this morning I was going to the watch counter. I asked the lady inside the door which way I should go. She was going to tell me by yelling the turns to me while I walked as she said “I can’t leave my desk.” However, after noticing she couldn’t direct me that way I heard her heels come tap, tap tapping across the floor as Vivi followed her to the right place. Then I heard someone call my name and some friends I hadn’t seen in several years gave me a ride back home.

Time for the gym. I have missed going to the gym for over half a year and for the past month it had seemed like either Vivi or I had forgotten where things were. Today as I stood on the art trainer a person came up and asked me if I remembered him. He worked with me when I started going to this gym quite a few years ago, showing me where things were, even counting steps in places to find where a turn was to the next machine. As I hugged him I asked “Have they moved something around in here?” As it turns out, they had moved things, some in one direction and some others and some out altogether. He again took me on a tour of where things are, even counting steps in one new area.

After gym time was over I waited for a cab that never came. I called the dispatcher and she told me to call my usual cab driver, who not only came down town to pick me up, but took me all the way to the mall. Suddenly I realized it was 2:30 and I had not had lunch, so Vivi took me to Chic Filet, because they are the best people to help. The first thing I had to ask someone about was “Am I in line?” The next thing was “Can you swipe this card for me?” All those machines don’t work the same way. The next thing I had to ask was: “Could you please help me find a table?”  To all my questions a very friendly person answered me as if I was the only customer there. Vivi followed him as he carried my food to a table, then came back to see if I wanted more drink, then came once more to take my tray for me.

Time to go to Sears, where I was once again going to a watch repair store as they didn’t have one in Sam’s Club. Sears will put a battery in a Braille watch for free, which is, in itself, a really nice benefit. So, of course, I went in on the wrong floor. I listened for a cash register. Hearing none, I had to ask someone where one was. Finding it, the cashier told me the elevator was just across the room but not only that, she walked with me, pushed the buttons, went upstairs with me and walked me all the way to my destination. You might think this person “me,” would know her way back out of the store into the mall? Not a chance. Vivi just headed one way and I hung on. Finally, after an appropriate distance, I asked someone which way to the mall. You guessed it, another person to help. I was close enough

however that he could just stand where he was and tell me when to turn.

Now, if anybody wants to say “bless her heart,” go right ahead. My heart was blessed by at least eight people just today, not counting those mentioned earlier. I think I am beginning to learn the meaning of the Tim McGraw song “Humble and kind,” well, the humble part anyway. It would be such a fine thing to be able to influence someone in such a positive way as my friend did for me a dozen years ago. It’s so much easier now to ask for help if I absolutely need it, and to experience the goodness in so many people in our world, the good news we don’t often hear about on TV.

 

BELIEVE

 

Forgotten memories creep like dancing moonbeams on pillows

With night noises that sing lullabies.

The world once was quiet at 2 AM.

Is it still so in the country while the city lights blaze as bright as noon?

Can the birds go to sleep? Do night flowers bloom?

Do the monsters come out from under our beds once we are grown?

And feed on the grandstand of innocent laughter, And the notion of happily ever after?

The wind breathes a fleeting childhood smile …

For just a blink the cow grazes in the grass

As the porch swing squeaks and the apples fall,

Naive times knowing nothing at all.

Can a day dream ever come true planted in the soil of time?

Nurture with love as warm as the sun

Wash it clean until it shines

Wake it up so it can be done.